I don’t think I’ll ever understand living as a cog in society. Civilization as a whole has always perplexed me. It’s something about the confines of living a daily routine. More so it was about hating “work”. Not that I mind hard work, it’s just the monotony of it all. Doing the same things at the same time every day, it has to kill you. More in the idealistic sense of losing one’s self in the shuffle. I’ve always been convinced of this. I’m not sure how or when I formulated this idea. My only guess is that it has developed over some time. Some conditionings, from years of seeing my parents struggle to keep me warm and plump. For that I do love them. As an adult however, more perfectly a man child, I have come to realize I do not mind being cold or without Swiss cakes.
It’s nice, fuck, it is healthy for me, to just sit back and watch the world work around me. I’ve convinced myself that my purpose in this life is to simple be an observer; sitting on the outskirts of society. I can’t follow the dreams of America. I just don’t care for children or owning ridicules things. Maybe, just maybe, I had been lucky enough, in an obscure and almost bad way.
Was I born lacking the chemical that caused greed and aggression? Perhaps I am just lazy. Further, I go on to think, my life my thoughts, they have not come from a feeling of superior intelligence. I’m as average as one can be in that regard. This feeling had to have been instilled from a superior consciousness. A will to understand; further, a will to transcend pointless human emotions, and see the world built around me for what it is.
In this you must forget what you are taught. Forget what you have seen with your own eyes. It is the ability to not blindly trust what is conceived to be obvious truths. Do not follow! Do not feel compelled to follow conventional thought. Forget what you know and accept that all will change. And nothing will be as you have expected; at least in the end that is.
Take a trip into your mind and it will seem as if this place, this tangible world is somewhere and yet somehow nowhere at the same time. This world is a trip to the past in the present and fading into the future. The ancient architecture mixed with contemporary materials form a collaboration of minds through time. The dead trees fill up both a time and place that transcends human comprehension.
There is a blissful feeling in observation. My mind wonders, and it does this a lot, in every possible direction. I feel compelled to document what I see and what I feel, but words in all their glory could do this no justice. I could never describe the air; when how it hits you it just makes you feel happiness. Or the crisp taste of it as it fills your soul.
Words can only wish they had the capability to be here; here and now, in this post consumer, post technological garden of my mind. I ask us all, all at once to take a step- take a leap. Fuck, just jump. Free fall away from everything you think you know to be true. Take a plunge into life. Explore your minds and your surroundings. Think god-damn it. I know you people never think. Last millennium held so much but in the end you couldn’t think past you VCR’s, your televisions, or your pagers. This time around your minds are just filled with IPods, facebook and twitter accounts. But I ask you all please just keep updating your status.
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