City Nights and Hidding Light.

And here I sit on yet another lonely night; in this lonely town, stuck in a mind that wont soon forget. My room is darkened by the all to familiar illusive stars. Sitting here on the edge of my second hand bed frame with its mattress from decades gone my trembling hand does it's best to light a candle. I sit here trying to light a candle that is already spent, with a match burning my finger tips. My eyes grow heavier by the seconds but my mind lacks and on/off switch. Why wont the thoughts stop? When will you leave my mind; I sincerely hope it to be sometime soon. I contemplate a few moments longer and all I conclude is this candle was done long before this night began.

Run North by North East.

We are all running from something. At least have the sense and forethought to run in the right direction. Run towards a goal while running from the past; flee from the hurt and find a new beginning.

Go Live and Feel the Pain of Life.

One must be versed in all the emotions of life to feel alive. Not just select the sorts that are only associated with what we call happiness. When one is at their worst it is bitter sweet for thought; how can one come to truly know themselves if all they feel is a steady flow of positive energy? For it is the valleys and peaks that form a person. The soul needs a healthy rhythm touching both ends of the spectrum.

Life has Meaning.

And it's days like these. Days caught between feelings of the morbid persuasion. Days that blur, days that pass through like years. Yet others that slip by without recollection. With-out the concept of time at all. But I go on to think, maybe that's just it. It's all sham, the whole of it. From the time you are born. The first lies, it's a lie to be birthed. This isn't where I wanted to be. It's a lie from some false hope that anything really exist. Reality is obscure. There is nothing left to trust, nothing left to understand. One can not even trust self. Can you trust feelings? Can you trust words? Does any of this ever make sense? No. Give it all up, reality is perception and reality is false. Perception is false. Believe in nothing.

Control is Not a Choice.

Why do I do it this way? Simple because I'm just fucked up like that. We all have our mental strengths and weaknesses. Mine whether it is the former of latter. Well, it comes from the need to not have control. I find a calming insanity in the mess of life.

A Few Sentences of Wisdom and Tomfoolery

Life has a funny way of working. Sometimes you try to stand back and be mysterious. But if you stand back too far, you'll find yourself overlooked.

We all wear two faces. Some just compliment each other better.

Every once in a while it takes a handle of bourbon to put your life into perspective.

For I am flawed. A flawed soul, trapped in a flawed mind, in a flawed body... have I stood back too far? Have they overlooked?

I had planned on stopping myself.
Everything shattered...
Inevitably, what was about to happen; what happened?
My body was falling five feet for twenty minutes.

City Life in Three Lines, and Some Change.

And I know it has been said a multitude of times, in an equal amount of word phrasings. Word play and poetic justice over looked; this city will eat you alive. Days will blur behind you and you'll never fully understand some of the most important events of your life.